the d-word: deployment thoughts [part 2]

This is the second of a series of posts that I began drafting at the beginning of this year. Each post--and the mini posts within each--contains my thoughts on the deployment process as or soon after various events occurred. For OPSEC purposes, I will not include specific dates, locations, etc. Alan has read each one and his thoughts are included alongside mine in certain posts. I hope that these posts will shed some light on our experiences; thank you for reading and God bless!

Read previous pre-deployment thoughts:
pre-deployment thoughts [part i]

Spring I 2013 

From Elizabeth He has orders. He is officially going somewhere at some point. And I am oddly calm about the entire situation--for now. I am a little jealous; I told Alan that if it weren't for the dogs and the house and grad school and home life group and life group and the Baking Brigade, I would want to travel or find a job overseas. I am a little sad; I don't want to spend any part of our life apart. But I understand that it's his job and this could happen and God has already blessed us with more than other newlywed couples in the military. And I believe that He works everything for good--although I think of how we turned off a military marriage DVD less than 10 minutes into the session because it was about deployment, and we (I?) didn't have to worry about that. The little things prepare me and remind me of what we'll miss. Our friend sitting beside me in the pew alone because her husband was helping count the offering--and knowing that that will be me, and that it has been and will continue to be many other women, for a long time coming. Chipmunk barking angrily at the front door because I didn't let her in the house when she wanted and decided to find a way out of the backyard--and realizing that at some point, I'm going to have to find a way to fix holes by myself call one of our friends to fix the holes. A sink and counter full of dirty dishes from home life group--the dawning that Alan won't be around to do the dishes for me (it's probably my least favorite homekeeping contribution). A rare moment to cuddle together on the couch, and wondering when we'll again be able to spend an afternoon just sitting together without interruption.

From Alan After discussing these and many more, reality set in and I wanted to make Elizabeth's home alone time less drastic. I frantically started researching the post where I would be going and setting into action possible methods for phone and Internet service. I want it to be as if it could almost be believed that I am still secretly around (minus the dishes, of course, since they can't magically do themselves). So I automatic drafted all bills and updates that had to happen. I wanted to have all those things taken care of and she still would not have to change her daily routine as much. I completed all services due and that would be due while I was gone for her vehicle. Then I realized after completing all of this, it still was not going to make it seem as if I was here--because it's not about those things being done, but rather me being here to do them.