I meant to post this on Sunday, and then that didn't happen, and then the week got really busy ... so it's almost the end of the week, but here were/are my goals.

I realized that all three of my goals tie into my overall goal to love--creating a peaceful home is a way of showing love to my husband and those who enter our home, and reading the Word helps me to love God and realize His love for me.

// love: my husband //

• We spent most of Saturday having a game day. We purchased the game "Firefly" (based on the tv show); it's really time-intensive but we enjoy it.

// love: others //

• Enjoyed some tea and time with friends during our ladies' night at a local coffee shop.

// love: myself //

• I started working out again--my day usually starts off with 30-40 minutes of exercise, a shower, and tea while I read the Bible. I'm currently reading Isaiah and Psalms.
• I also finished "The Best Yes" and read "Let's All Be Brave." I started "Let's All Be Brave" thinking that it would be a fun, light read to occupy Saturday evening. It turned into a challenge that really spoke to something that's been on my heart for a few months--I was totally surprised. 

// home //

•  Organized the pantry.

// the Word //

• Read one chapter daily of Isaiah and Psalms.

And, for this week:

// love: my husband //

• Omitting for now, in case he reads this. :)

// love: others //

• Specifically encourage those I see at the center. 

// love: myself //

• Start reading "The Screwtape Letters."
• Read at least one chapter of "The Locust Effect."

 // home //

• Create a daily schedule for homemaking contributions (or find my old one).
• Organize the bookshelves and set aside some books to donate. 

// The Word //

• Continue reading one chapter daily of Isaiah and Psalms.

starting today

I love the idea of goal setting and new beginnings and lists, and there's even more motivation to do all of those things at this time of year. But, I don't want to limit myself to January 1, 2015, or January 1 of any other year, for that matter. So, I'm starting now.

A week or so ago, I had the idea that I want to focus more on love in my life. Loving God. Loving others. Loving myself. I realized that our society both inundates us with this idea that we should love ourselves and buy this and do that because we deserve it and we are awesome and at the same time tells us that we should spend our time and energy and money on others.

The people who are really awesome never take time for themselves. Look at how self-sacrificial she is. Look at how much he does.

But, if there's one thing I've learned from graduate school, it's that if I'm not taking care of myself, there's no way I can provide the best care for anyone else. (At the same time, when I'm feeling most selfish in my marriage, reaching out to love my husband tends to fill both of us.)

So, I want to spend more time exploring this concept of love. In pre-practicum over a year ago, we learned a technique that focused on death and regrets. I happened to be the client during the exercise, and I still remember that the student who acted as therapist in that class said that it sounded like my regret at death would be fear that I hadn't loved enough.

So, here goes. My goal is to reflect each week-ish on how I'm loving my husband, other family and friends, the community at large, and myself. I might only write about one of those areas, but I want to keep myself more accountable in this endeavor.

My other goal is to create a more peaceful and welcoming environment at home. Now that I've graduated, I have slightly more time to dedicate to getting back on a homemaking schedule. I want to clean the house more regularly and frequently and I would like to organize and redecorate some things.

My third major goal is to read the Word more often. During home life group, I admitted that my biggest excuse to not engaging with the Word more often is to skim a devotional in the morning and then say I'll go back and really study it later. (Later never happens, by the way.) So, I want to be more intentional with reading the Word and praying and really focusing on Scripture.

goals with grace: january

So, remember that month when I wrote that thing and did pretty much none of that thing? Actually, I did some of the thing.

Running as a form of self-care fell by the wayside in the second half of the month, mainly because both Alan and I had two weeks of leave and running at 6:30 in the morning was just not one of my top priorities. It wasn't a bottom priority, either. Running in the cold was easy last winter, but this winter I find that my ears hurt (like almost my ear drums) and my throat and lungs get cold (this was also not an issue last winter, and I was running in 30-40 degree weather on a regular basis). Basically, I find myself inconvenienced but not motivated enough to figure out how to deal with the ear thing. The throat and lungs thing is less of an issue.

However, I did sleep in, read books for fun, and took time for myself in other ways, so I did succeed in keeping some form of a self-care regimen.

I didn't host a brunch, either. Everyone was right (I'll admit it)--graduating and planning for Christmas and spending time with my husband and the rest of my family kept me busy and I did not make time to plan a brunch.

However, it is on the schedule for this month. I even set a date.

And we didn't work through Advent Conspiracy, but we did apply the principles to our first Christmas traditions.

But, hey. There's grace. And I have God to thank for that.

So, January.

+ reading. I want to finish "The Best Yes" and dig further into "The Locust Effect." I also want to get back into the habit of starting my day with the Word. Right now, I'm reading Isaiah and Psalms.

+ blogging. I also want to blog at least once a week--primarily about my goals for the year (which will be posted tomorrow), but I want to inhabit this space more often.

+ brunch. For, real, this time. The date is set, so now I want to design invitations and mail/hand them out by Sunday.

2014

I flew home to visit my family and we spent some time at Walt Disney World! // Alan and I enjoyed R&R and deployment came to an end. // My word for the year was less, with a general goal for me to work toward being content with less and stewarding God's provisions better. I've both struggled and succeeded with this. On the upside, even my struggles usually result in conviction and lessons learned for the future. // I ran three 5ks. Two were on the same day. // I flew to California to attend The Yellow Conference, where God showed up in amazing ways, and returned home with an idea but no idea how to implement it. I'm still stuck there. :( // That idea was The Too Much Day, a blogging community where people can write about days when life is just too much and what they really wish their friends/families/people in general knew about those tough days and what they really need. // We drove to South Padre Island for a mini vacation. // Alan received an Army Commendation Medal for his work during deployment and was also honored with the Honorable Order of St. Barbara. // I earned my master's degree in licensed clinical mental health counseling and was also a co-recipient of the University Mission Award. // We started creating our own Christmas/Advent traditions. // My parents and sister drove down to visit us for a few days.

Overall, 2014 was a year of great blessing. That's not to say that there weren't some trials, but I'm learning to focus more on the blessings instead of dwelling on the negative.

south padre island

When I feel the waves rush over my feet, pulling water across the beach as I sink deeper into the heavy sand, and allow myself to get lost in the seemingly endless expanse of the ocean, I feel closer to God. It renews me spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Now, I know that God is with me wherever I am. But I unfortunately allow myself to be swallowed by my schedule, by the city (however small it may be), and by the day to day stuff. <-- I need to work on not letting that happen so often.

We took advantage of a four-day weekend to drive to South Padre Island and relax together (including our three dogs). We drove the Jeep onto the sand and found an isolated stretch of beach, popped the trunk open, and set up a tent. Actually, Alan did all of the tent work. I ran around in the water with Chipmunk and Ophelia (Shooter, meanwhile, would have none of this water stuff and lounged in the Jeep most of the time). We enjoyed the water, napped in the tent, I read "The Locust Effect," and we ate elote (it's one of my favorite things ever).

It rained off and on--huge drops that pelted the water (and me) so that it seemed that the rain was coming from both above and below me--but the weather was sunny most of our trip. The clouds were large and puffy. Gazing at the sky, I briefly lamented over the fact that we no longer refer to the skies as "the heavens," and Isaiah 6:3 popped into my head. The New Living Translation says:

They were calling out to each other, "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of Heaven's Armies! The whole earth is filled with his glory!"

How incredible is it to stop and ponder God's majesty--the way the waves will never stop, the circle of life in the scuttling crabs and the empty seashells that were once home to little animals. I tend to forget to look for God's invisible qualities in the every day; surrounding myself with nature helps to remind me how creative and amazing and worthy of praise God is.

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. -Romans 1:20 (NLT)

We also took the dogs for long walks and I attempted my own version of in vivo flooding by standing in shallow water at night, because the waves would temporarily beach little fish and they would flounder on the sand and work their way back into the water. Naturally, I thought it would be an excellent idea to stand where the fish would touch me and flop over my feet.

It was not an excellent idea. And I still have my fish phobia. Because honestly, how is anyone supposed to confidently enter the water when doing so throws you somewhere in the middle of the food chain? Obviously, I wouldn't go into water deeper than my ribcage. Alan, meanwhile, went all Jacques Cousteau and found some interesting marine life.

We also combed the beach for shells. Alan found a conch shell for me and I found a sand dollar for him. One of our traditions is to give each other gifts that we find as opposed to buy. Which works out really well because we spend most of our money on food, anyway.

We purchased some ceviche from the Shrimp Haus to eat in our condo on the first night and ate at the Sea Ranch Restaurant-Bar another evening. I realized that my favorite dinners tend to be the ones that we take out and eat wherever we are--on a trip to Galveston, we bought our dinner at Joe's Crab Shack but drove to the waterside to eat in the Jeep and watch the waves. We also tried Burgerfi, which has great veggie burgers and "urban fries"--fries with parmesan cheese, herbs, and garlic aoili. We made a Burgerfi stop on our way home and got comfy with the Jeep as our table--I've also realized that I really enjoy settling in to the Jeep on long road trips.

It's a relief to know that there are a few beaches within a day's drive of home, if ever we want to take a last minute trip. We also came home with some jugs of ocean water, which we simmered until we were left with some delicious sea salt. We made (if you "make" sea salt) a plain variety, as well as a roasted garlic and a rosemary garlic sea salt, so now we have constant (delicious) reminders of our first trip to South Padre Island.