Recently, the boys flew in to Dallas for two weeks. Less than 15 minutes after they arrived, a Nerf gun was on the loveseat (I know this because I sat down and hit my head on it). My first thought was that I love the fact that we pick up where we left off--there was no awkwardness and the boys settled in pretty quickly, even though this is only the second time they've been here.

I think one of the best comments came from T--he turned on the tap for a glass of water after spending some time outside and said, "It was so much better when you lived with [Elizabeth's dad]."

True. Story.

C caught up on some the hugs he's missed out on for the past several months and immediately took to seeing how long he could balance on my stability ball (we timed him last summer). C also ate two dinners in a row, which has got to be a record--I made vegan pasta (with spicy shrimp on the side) the first night and vegan pizzas the second night (C's even had Jarlsberg cheese on it).

In the short span that they visited ...

• all three of the guys washed the vehicles;
• they cleaned the garage;
• we explored Hobby Lobby;
• C mowed the backyard;
• C proudly earned $30 washing windows for a local business;
• the boys went fossil hunting;
• we played Cranium, Made for Trade, and countless games of "Liar" and "James Bond";
• we visited Inner Space Caverns near Georgetown;
• we threw Frisbee;
• we took the dogs for walks;
• we ventured around the mall;
• we went to Enchanted Rock State Natural Area to camp for a night;
• we experienced a trip to an emergency vet that resulted in C's prayers being answered;
• we played hide-and-seek in the dark;
• we shared several bowls of popcorn;
• we introduced the boys to Mr. Bean;
• we scheduled an appointment with a marriage and family life counselor (MFLC);
• and we spent time enjoying one another's company.

One of the hardest parts, for me, was adjusting to the fact that the four of us haven't shared a living space for an extended period of time in about a year. Over the first few days, I couldn't understand their behavior and why it had changed so much (after all, some difficulty to adjustment would be expected). The negativity in the house was stifling; it seemed that they never had a kind word to say to one another and any time they were upset, they refused to talk about it.

It wasn't until the counselor shed new light on the situation and explained that they had grown in a different way that I started to look at the situation as potentially positive. We emphasized the fact that we didn't expect them to be best friends, but they were at least to behave civilly with each other, and I explained that if they are upset, I will ask what is wrong and the situation will be resolved when they are ready because otherwise, the same mistake has a higher chance of recurring.

Overall, the days flew by entirely too quickly but we're grateful for the time that we were able to spend together.

job corps

I last wrote about Sesame Street's new Muppet: a boy whose dad is incarcerated. In last night's Career class presentation, the topic was transitioning. One of the sub-topics focused on the transition from prison to career. One of the things that struck me was the fact that people who have been in jail for five or 10 years (especially 10) probably have no idea what a smartphone is or how to use one. They have no idea how to use iPads, and they might not know how to use computers--especially updated systems, but seriously who knows how to use that new Windows platform? I don't. And that just blew my mind.

Not only do former prisoners have to face culture shock and stigma, but they might not even know how to go about looking for jobs.

So, if you know someone who is or was incarcerated (or who just never completed his or her high school education), you could direct them to Job Corps, which provides students with a GED or high school diploma and job training.

sesame street + children of incarcerated parents

Sesame Street reaches out to 2.7 million American children with an incarcerated parent

One in 28 children has an incarcerated parent? Considering the average number of students in a classroom when I was growing up, that means that almost one child in every classroom is directly affected.

Sesame Street also offers a toolkit--Little Children, Big Challenges: Incarceration--to help educate and support both caregivers and children.

While you may not have children or be directly affected by incarceration, you may know a child who--given the statistics--most likely knows a classmate who is affected. Raising awareness and teaching empathy in children can help them support their friends.

coping skills toolbox

Let's Make a Coping Skills Toolbox!

I found this on Tumblr and thought it was really awesome. The point is to create your own personal resource for self-soothing; that way, a variety of tools are easily accessible. Click on each image to enlarge it on your screen.

need help falling asleep?

Apparently, this music is so relaxing that you shouldn't listen to it while driving. Maybe you could add it to your coping skills toolbox.