We were supposed to start the week before last, but our plans were waylaid by a surprise birthday party that my wonderful husband and friends put together. I keep meaning to post about it, but I still have some photos to upload.
Anyway, prior to home life group, one of my friends (Friend A, who attends home life group) mentioned that she felt an evil presence at one point, and another friend (Friend B, who attends home life group) said that she couldn't finish reading the first chapter of the book because of a sudden headache. At the time, I was babysitting and didn't answer my phone when Friend B called, so Friend B called Friend A to tell her, and Friend A prayed for her. The headache mostly went away, and I later heard the story from both of them separately.
And I thought, "Why is this happening to them?"
Susie Larson, in her amazing book "Your Beautiful Purpose," which I highly recommend (and may cover in life group), says that we can't always see God's forces mounting before us when God is about to do something great through us, but the enemy can, and--knowing that we cannot see the awesome power supporting us--chooses to attack us in an attempt to waylay us.
With this in mind, I thought to myself, "I know that they are both great women of God. They are actively advancing the Kingdom--what if that's why they're being attacked and I'm not? The enemy wouldn't bother with them if they weren't doing anything. Maybe I'm not doing anything. What if everything I'm doing is in vain? What if I'm doing it for myself, and everything is meaningless?"
Later, Friend B said that Friend A told her that she wouldn't be surprised if our home life group is attacked spiritually as we continue this study.
And then, it clicked.
I used to sometimes have really intense nightmares. After a while, I recognized the nightmares and the oppressive feelings for what they were, and I started to tell the enemy that he had no power over me, that he needed to leave my presence because Jesus Christ gave me authority over him.
I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. -Luke 10:19
The nightmares stopped.
I realized that I wasn't having the same feelings, the same experiences, that my friends were having because the enemy knew that I recognized those attacks. He needed to change tactics.
So I doubted myself; I took the bait--until that moment when I realized that my own misgivings were the enemy. The moment I considered my fears in a different light, the doubting ceased and I smiled, partially out of happiness that I understood my own fears and partially out of surprise that
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. -1 Peter 5:8
