inconvenient: not convenient especially in giving trouble or annoyance

I thought Jesus was inconvenient today.

I was on my way to youth group —I'd left the house about an hour early with the intention of stopping at Starbucks—when I spotted him at the turnaround. Squatting on the concrete while my dashboard read 102F, listlessly holding a cardboard sign with his head down. He wasn't even looking at the cars and I wondered: Does he think no one will help him? Does he think no one sees him?

My first thought upon seeing people in need is usually that I should help. My next thoughts were:

1. Jesus is the poor.

2. He's all the way on the other side of the highway and I'm already at the light. I'll have to turn around.

3. Ugh. I don't want to turn around. I'm going to have to loop around this section of the highway again in order to get in the far left lane.

4. Why is helping so inconvenient?

By this time, the light turned green and I was turning onto Fort Hood Street, suddenly horrified and shamed by the fact that I'd just considered helping someone to be inconvenient. I parked at Starbucks, pulling my thoughts together as I walked inside. I realized that, if I drove through the Popeye's parking lot, I'd have enough room to change from the far right lane to the far left lane.

I took a quick snapshot of my coffee and typed up an Instagram post asking how others help those in need. At this point, I felt upset by my thoughts, the true nature of my heart, and my inaction. And why don't I keep myself better prepared? While there aren't as many visible homeless people in Killeen as there are in Austin, it's not entirely uncommon to pass someone with a cardboard sign.

So, when I finally left Starbucks prepared to serve, I decided to take another route. It would be slightly longer, but it would give me more time to cross the highway and I wouldn't feel rushed changing lanes near a traffic light. I would feel comfortable.

Whatever illusion of possible comfort I had was swiftly shattered; traffic in the lane beside me prevented me from exiting the highway where I intended to, so I drove almost halfway down the street to turn onto another street. What should have taken maybe two minutes turned into a seven-minute drive as I meandered downtown on a street I'd never driven before.

I ended up behind the Killeen Daily Herald—where I could have started working in 2012 instead of starting graduate school—and thought about how incredible life can be when I obey God instead of doing my own thing.

As I turned onto the access road again, I considered how we have to be willing to be inconvenienced, we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zones, if we want to serve. Jesus didn't ignore people because He had other things on his agenda for the day.

I slowed to a stop at the traffic light. This time, the man was standing up. I couldn't make out what his sign said, but it certainly didn't have the usual "Anything helps" or "Homeless veteran" writing. I had a brief moment of panic—maybe he wasn't in need, maybe I was going to look patronizing.

No.

As followers of Christ, we are called to go. We are called to follow Christ and love others well, not determine the minimum level of love we can show or judge just how in need someone is. And in doing so, yes, our plans are going to be changed. We're going to take scenic routes instead of direct paths. We're going to question and we're going to wonder, and we may wonder how others perceive us in the process. But we're going to trust. And we go knowing that, as Christ's servants, we go with Him.

If anyone serves Me, he must continue to follow Me [to cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying] and wherever I am, there will My servant be also. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him. -John 12:26

train up a child in the way he should go

Summer vacation with my youngest stepson recently came to an end. For months, I've prayed that God would show up for both his brother and him. I prayed that they would encounter God in a real and personal way. I prayed that, when he came to visit, Alan and I would point him to Christ and align us with God's will in his life.

Parents have such a great (read: huge and fantastic) responsibility when it comes to teaching their children about God. Who God is. Who we are in relation to God. What Christ did. How we respond to all of that.

I didn't realize that until recently. How amazing (read: fearful and awesome) would it be to have that responsibility every day for 18 (or more) years! And on that note, parents, I pray over you ever more fervently, that you would seek God first and allow His will to work in your families.

I found myself questioning where we spent our time. How we spent our time. What movies we watched. What we talked about. I began to realize on a deeply personal level that every single moment is an opportunity to share the Gospel. Every single moment is an opportunity to display Christ.

This is real. This is impactful.

We spent the first week of vacation at Camp Eagle. I got teary when one of the youth leaders told me that she could see that God was working on my youngest stepson. When we returned from camp, we introduced him to family devotionals and explained why we read the Bible.

He asked us about baptism; we explained it and he said he wanted to baptized. Alan told him that he had been baptized a few years ago. He said that he didn't understand it, then. But he understood it now and he wanted to be baptized. So one of our friends, a chaplain, talked to him about baptism.

We had a picnic at a nearby lake with some friends and the chaplain baptized him in living waters.

He started asking me not to open the car door for a few extra minutes when a song that he liked played on K-Love and we were already parked.

The daily things pointed the way to bigger, inside things. May I never overlook the daily for the epic. May I never ask for signs and miracles and ignore the rabbi in front of me, ministering in ways that don't fit neatly meet my expectations.

Saying see-you-later was bittersweet. Because, first of all, I just don't like saying see-you-later to loved ones. But, I also worried if he had a "good enough" foundation. (I don't actually know how to quantify what a "good enough" foundation would be, now that I think of it.) And I was also proud to see how he had begun turning toward God and I knew, deep down inside, that God didn't need either Alan or me in order to accomplish his work in this young man.

He's halfway across the country again. The house is quiet. The dogs are bored. There are well over a thousand miles between us now, but we both know a God who is greater than any distance.

I recently looked up verses about God being close and texted this one to him: The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. -Zephaniah 3:17

relinquishment

After three years of the same, more or less, we decided to switch up the way we do home life group. We recently finished up Radical and split up—the men began to study 33 at one house and the women started Becoming Myself at another. I don't know what goes on in the men's group, but I know that for us, things got really real, really quickly.

And by really real, I mean that I (because I won't speak for anyone else) was laying my heart out in ways that I haven't done before with this group of women. And I've known some of them for three years. Which is a long time in military life.

In week one, we talked about failure and I mentioned that when I first answered the question in the study guide, I didn't really feel like a failure, so I said "I feel incompetent when. ..." But by sentence #2, I wrote, "I feel like a failure when. ..." I told them that it seemed that I'd given everything to God—even my career choice and five-year plan—except this one thing. So one of the ladies mentioned the prayer of relinquishment. (She even had a copy of the actual Guideposts article to let me borrow.) And I kept it in my purse for about a week before I finally sat down to read it.

And then I went a few more days before I could finally give it over to God:

God, You know that I want this. But more than this, I want Your will to be done.

I instantly felt freer than I have in a while. And the next day, I realized that I was truly able to enjoy the day. I could be fully present in this season instead of thinking I was being fully present but really acting like more of a martyr.

I post my list of #1000gifts on my Twitter feed. I've noticed that recently, my gifts have focused on things I took for granted before I surrendered to God. I've noticed that my heart is different when certain topics come up in conversation. I've noticed a greater peace than I've experienced before.

Now, this is not to say that I don't expect to never struggle again with this issue. (Maybe I should?) But I know that I will be more apt to immediately pray when this pops up—something I've been more conscious of doing with other matters.

Before home life group, I made time to touch up my hair and makeup for the fun of it. I shared this (and all of the above) as a praise report during our last meeting and was met with a semi-serious frumpy face from a friend.

"My husband's been home all day and I still looked like this!" she said, pointing to her more casual appearance.

And I realized, again, that I have so much to be grateful for. Yes, there are still things I yearn for, but I also know that I have friends who yearn for what I have, too.

run the race + keep the faith

How does he have the energy to preach right now?

That kept popping up in my head during a 5k two 5ks ago. My friend had asked me to run with him the night before the race.

I don't know why I expected myself to be able to run the pace I kept when I ran three to four times a week when I run once or twice a month. But I did, and I said sure.

I also didn't hydrate properly before the race. And I didn't set an alarm, so I woke up about 15 minutes before the start and we rushed to the event. So, from about 50 yards on, I just kept thinking about how woefully unprepared I was and what a bad idea this 5k was.

But there's my friend, running beside me, saying that this race is just like the race set before us—there's the finish line up ahead, I know where it ends and how it ends; all I have to do is stay on the path.

I told myself that he's a sergeant. He's supposed to be motivating and be energetic and happy when the rest of us want to just quit. I wondered if God would hold it against me if I stopped to walk for a few yards. (I didn't.)

A couple of weeks ago, I ran another 5k. The same friend ran with me, along with another mutual friend who also happens to be a chaplain.

So I got a sermon in stereo.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Be cunning as snakes and innocent as doves. (We later realized that we were combining two different verses, but it worked as a good motivator.)

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. -1 Peter 5:8 

Behold, I am sending you out like sheep in the midst of wolves; be wary and wise as serpents, and be innocent (harmless, guileless, and without falsity) as doves. [Gen. 3:1.]

I kept telling myself that the race had been won. That all I had to do was run and run well. I also wondered how they had the energy and breath to do anything other than suck wind for the last mile or so.

Last night, my friend and I ran about 2.5 miles at a local park (and I had even run 5 miles about a week earlier). He asked me if I thought snap judgments—good or bad—were a sin. I said yes, that we are not to judge, but it's also human nature for us to want to put people in boxes to be able to understand them (or think we understand them) quickly. This turned into a huge discussion about using "human nature" as an excuse for sin.

And I realized, as we kept the pace past mile one, and then past mile two, that even though I was talking, I wasn't out of breath. That maybe, if I'm focusing on God and communing with my fellow brother in Christ, I am given energy that wells up from some place deep inside so I can encourage others and bring glory to God.

It was a pretty amazing experience.

If I keep my focus on my small reserve of energy and run conservatively in the pursuit of comfort, I finish feeling exhausted. If I focus on the conversation at hand and the fellowship between my friend and I, I finish strong—we sprinted the last 30 yards or so.

It's a lot like marriage. If I focus on myself and give my husband only the energy and love I think I can afford to give away, I don't benefit either of us. But when I put my faith in God and focus on sustaining my husband, we are both filled and the love we can give is multiplied as it's received. Plus, marriage is definitely more like an ultra-marathon than a sprint.

Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us, 2 Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. [Ps. 110:1.] -Hebrews 12:1-2 (AMP)

lessons in pseudo-parenthood

On June 14, I became a stepmom. On March 21, I became a (temporary) foster mom.

I feel like I've been everything but just mom.

Part of me yearns to be "just mom." The little things quicken my clock.

These are my favorite Texas flowers so far. After weeks of admiring them from the Jeep, I was able to look at them up close while taking a walk.

Our friends' sweet 18 month old saying, "Hi!" when I came home from class recently (Alan was watching our youngest foster child and babysitting for our friends) and our youngest foster child climbing onto the couch to snuggle with me--not all moments are difficult.

Shopping for baby clothes with my friend--she's expecting again. Meanwhile, I want to stash them away in a hope chest.

Trying to decide if a jogging stroller and diaper pail would be worth the investment--I need an athletic outlet. I wanted to buy them now with the hopes that we will someday have use for them again, but as far as the stroller goes, I realized I could just wake up earlier and exercise at home. And as for the diaper pail, we're down to UnderJams and about one accident a day.

Potty successes. They seriously make my day.

Heating dinosaur chicken nuggets and cutting up hot dogs the way my aunt used to, even though I'm preparing a vegan meal for myself.

Connecting with our oldest foster child.

Praying on the drive to school each morning, turning on K-Love. Hoping the words minister, praying that something sinks in, wondering if my mom thought the same things when we grew up listening to our local Christian radio station.

Constantly reminding that not all bugs need to be killed, and everything in nature needs to be put back exactly where it was found. Thinking of my aunt.

Cooking with a curious onlooker who ties my apron strings. Remembering my grandmother and her apron, and watching countless meals being prepared in her kitchen.

Remembering to be patient when someone is being independent--I don't ever recall my grandfather being impatient with me.

Hearing my speech revert to the colloquial Pennsylvania Dutchisms my grandparents, aunt, mom, and extended family sometimes use--and realizing that I would totally talk to my own children like that.

          "There's more back."
                    "It's all."
                              "Come here, onst."

I want my own opportunity to train and rear and teach and guide.

A friend's mom blessed us by filling up my gas tank. With my weekly gas budget more than double what it normally is, her act of service was a major blessing.

But, through this experience, I have also learned to be content where God has us.

To never again take for granted the time that Alan and I have together as a couple (or the time that I have to myself).

To be grateful that finishing assignments minutes before I leave for class and turning in work that is far from my best will not be a forever thing.

To continue reading as many parenting books as I can find and to ask for advice from as many parents as I meet.

To be grateful for those times when I can be in the car by myself and go to the store by myself.

By myself.

To understand the vague semblance of attention one sometimes pays while in class (or at work), knowing that there are little ones and a spouse waiting at home.

In the midst of this situation, I'm not quite sure what lessons God has in mind for Alan and me to learn. But, I'm learning to trust in His timing and His plan.

  
EDIT: Oh my goodness, it's not even Monday. What was I thinking?

the enemy's lies

We've recently started Max Anders' "What You Need to Know About Spiritual Warfare." (Our edition has a more recent cover, but the point is that the book is available online.)

We were supposed to start the week before last, but our plans were waylaid by a surprise birthday party that my wonderful husband and friends put together. I keep meaning to post about it, but I still have some photos to upload.

Anyway, prior to home life group, one of my friends (Friend A, who attends home life group) mentioned that she felt an evil presence at one point, and another friend (Friend B, who attends home life group) said that she couldn't finish reading the first chapter of the book because of a sudden headache. At the time, I was babysitting and didn't answer my phone when Friend B called, so Friend B called Friend A to tell her, and Friend A prayed for her. The headache mostly went away, and I later heard the story from both of them separately.

And I thought, "Why is this happening to them?"

Susie Larson, in her amazing book "Your Beautiful Purpose," which I highly recommend (and may cover in life group), says that we can't always see God's forces mounting before us when God is about to do something great through us, but the enemy can, and--knowing that we cannot see the awesome power supporting us--chooses to attack us in an attempt to waylay us.

With this in mind, I thought to myself, "I know that they are both great women of God. They are actively advancing the Kingdom--what if that's why they're being attacked and I'm not? The enemy wouldn't bother with them if they weren't doing anything. Maybe I'm not doing anything. What if everything I'm doing is in vain? What if I'm doing it for myself, and everything is meaningless?"

Later, Friend B said that Friend A told her that she wouldn't be surprised if our home life group is attacked spiritually as we continue this study.

And then, it clicked.

I used to sometimes have really intense nightmares. After a while, I recognized the nightmares and the oppressive feelings for what they were, and I started to tell the enemy that he had no power over me, that he needed to leave my presence because Jesus Christ gave me authority over him.

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. -Luke 10:19

The nightmares stopped.

I realized that I wasn't having the same feelings, the same experiences, that my friends were having because the enemy knew that I recognized those attacks. He needed to change tactics.

So I doubted myself; I took the bait--until that moment when I realized that my own misgivings were the enemy. The moment I considered my fears in a different light, the doubting ceased and I smiled, partially out of happiness that I understood my own fears and partially out of surprise that

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. -1 Peter 5:8

military lessons on community [part two]

This is our second post on the topic of community and how the military and Christian communities are similar (or, how they could be). You can check out our first post on community.

deliberately grow friendship. Because you're probably hundreds/thousands of miles away from your family and potentially new to this whole thing (and, even if you aren't, it's nice to have someone else along for the adventure), it's important to have close friends you can count on, whether it's a phone call to make sure you're all right when your spouse is in the field, or picking up your child from school because you don't feel well, or just listening when you're going through a rough time and the enemy is attacking you from all sides.

Building that sort of relationship requires intention and purpose--inviting people to church or dinner or a coffee shop or your house. It means sharing our stories and praying that we can influence our brothers and sisters positively on their journeys. What if you don't think you can/want to set aside time for that?

If you're a blogger, this might mean praying before you post, as Keri Williams wrote recently. Or praying before you comment--what words would really encourage and inspire the blogger whose heart you just read?

Maybe it means sending a text, card, or email, just to let someone know you're thinking of her.

On a secular level, close friends are like second family. On a Godly level, believers are family. Regardless of how close you are.

we have an appreciation of (the lack of) time. Because we know that when you look around the church (or the home life group, or what have you), it's not going to look the same a year (or even a month) from now, I think we understand that you have to cut to the important stuff. Quickly. Ditch the small talk and forget the petty stuff. But as believers, we sometimes act like we'll all be around forever--we can take as much time as we want getting to know people. And God.

I have two super-close friends whom I consider family. I might not be able to tell you their favorite colors or biggest pet peeves, but I can tell you that we would drop (and have) whatever we were doing in order to help each other, whether that means taking care of a dog for a week, picking up a child from school, watching a child overnight, checking in on a house for a week, or accompanying one of us to a doctor appointment. I also think having a common bond factors into this--we understand that our spouses' military commitments sometimes mean that our schedules change at the last minute, and as believers, we trust each other.

How many friends have you known for longer than seven to nine months? Would you be willing to stop what you're doing to help them?

military lessons on community [part one]

"Community" seems to be a popular topic of late, with L's post on community at All Glorious Within and Annie's post on friendship at What She Saw. Plus, I've really had community on my heart recently--I've been drafting a blog post specifically about the type of friendships I've formed down here, but apparently I'm going to write about that sooner than I planned to.

I think the Christian community could learn a thing or two from the military community (and vice versa), and I'm breaking my thoughts down into two posts.

Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God. -Romans 1:1

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. -1 Peter 2:9

Like Paul (and believers), the military community is set apart. It's different. There are certain things that happen in the military that simply don't happen (or are difficult to understand) in the civilian sector, and vice versa.

If you've ever seen the Lifetime show "Army Wives," you know that the tagline is "The Army has its code. The wives have their own." Likewise, as believers, we have our own "code."

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. -2 Timothy 3:16

The community can be tightly knit--even with frequent moves, you can only receive orders to so many places, so there's a chance that you'll see old friends on the other side of the world a decade from now. Plus, a tightly-knit clan is important when your spouse is deployed or in the field or just can't make it to your doctor appointment. However, I've met women who have lived here longer than I have but lack the strong friendships that I have been blessed with here.

And the sad thing is, it seems to me that the women who haven't found good friends tend to be Christians. They say that everyone has already formed their groups. There isn't room for one more. And it can be unnerving, especially when we fall prey to jealousy, to pettiness, to the enemy, and we close off our hearts to deeper, meaningful relationships. We give off the message that there really isn't room for one more; we're content with our current circle, and you're on your own.

But, that's not the message that Jesus brought.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. -Hebrews 10:24-25

So, what sparks close friendships and builds community so quickly?

share a common bond. If your husband (or wife!) is a soldier, you're used to CQ or staff duty, upcoming deployments, weeks in the field, schedules that aren't really set in stone until they've happened and a week has passed, and a host of other military-specific things. And, if you're not used to it yet? You will be, soon.

Likewise, as believers, we share a common bond. But it seems (to me) that we are way too flippant about that connection--when it comes to friend criteria, being a child of the same God is about as important as sharing the same hair color.

Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? -Malachi 2:10

Meanwhile, with the friendships I've formed in military community, being from the same coast is a fairly legitimate reason to explore friendship. Oh, you're from Virginia? I'm from Pennsylvania. Close enough. Let's be friends.

take advantage of others' experience. Based on my experience, the spouses of soldiers are willing to share their experiences and lend their support and knowledge to help others, and it's a relief to know that you can look to someone else for help.

But as believers, we're cautious--even stingy--with sharing our stories. Especially the ones that might cast us in a less-than-perfect light. We worry too much about what others might think, instead of being concerned with how our stories might be able to touch someone else, or thinking about what our Heavenly Father would think. We are too quick to pass judgment.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:12

And as believers, we're easily hit with jealousy when something good happens to someone else, and we're quick to tear down, instead of build up. Instead of praying for blessing and protection upon our fellow sisters and brothers, we ask "Why not me?" We ignore that common bond of belief in salvation through Jesus Christ.

Plus, when we act in a petty fashion, how can we honestly expect others to see Christ in us? How can we expect others to want to follow Christ?

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. -John 13:35

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. -Colossians 4:5

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. -1 John 4:7-8

Are you making the most of every opportunity?

the baking brigade

1,046 cookies, brownies, and muffins, baked by at least 14 people.

300 boxes assembled and filled with baked goods and Chapel Next business cards or handwritten words of encouragement, all prepared by 20-ish people.

5 barracks buildings and almost 300 soldiers uplifted and greeted by 15 people with heartfelt conversation and the love of Christ and community.

1 amazing and blessed first outreach by the Baking Brigade.

Sadly, there is only one photo of Alan because he was our photographer for the event.

I intended to blog about this earlier, but I couldn't find the right words to describe what an amazing, God-filled experience this was. I still don't have all of the words, but if I wait for "perfect," I'll never hit the "Publish" button.

The night before the Baking Brigade outreach, I prayed myself to sleep. I was ridiculously nervous and kept grabbing my phone from the nightstand so I could add quick reminders--don't forget scissors for cutting the twine, and markers for decorating boxes, and print off your notes for Sunday Morning Life Group!

So, while I was casting my cares on the Lord, I was also making sure that I was doing absolutely everything in my power to be prepared. You know--just in case. (read: I was really just paying lip service to God.)

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. -Psalms 55:22

I was afraid that we wouldn't have enough cookies, that even though the list of people who signed up looked decent, people would forget or not bother or not make enough. It was almost 1 a.m. when I toyed with the idea of getting up and making even more cookies (one of my closest friends down here arrived home on Saturday after visiting family on the East Coast, so we went to dinner with them and then they came over so she could bake muffins).

And I was reminded of Jesus feeding the five thousand.

I told myself that if Jesus could do that, then He would make sure that we would have enough to go around. His will would be done. I had to keep myself in check.

Sometimes, we have to live by faith and trust that God will provide. I told God that I was entrusting Him with the entire outreach. That if it succeeded, it was only because He is good and that all the glory went to Him. That if it failed, I knew that this was a me-thing, and not a God-thing. I asked Him to use me as a vessel to minister to others and advance His kingdom.

Coincidentally--or not--I taught about leadership in Life Group the next morning. Leaders have extraordinary faith because they trust that their visions will be fulfilled, as long as people are motivated and God will provide.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:19

And I thought to myself, "Wow, I wish I had that kind of faith!" Instead, I was too busy worrying, and had clearly forgotten the prayer I'd said the previous night. I wanted to end class fifteen minutes early, so I could check on cookies and one of the other ladies could go home to pick up a forgotten Children's Church lesson plan--we barely finished praying by the usual end of class. At that point, I decided to recommit my cares to God.

Would more people drop off cookies? Would we have twine to finish the boxes? Would enough people volunteer to package, to go to the barracks? Was I forgetting something? What if we didn't have enough cookies? What if, in spite of my heart for this mission and my excitement, it failed?

I sometimes get the impression that I--as a woman? as a young woman? as an introvert who hates to be acknowledged in the congregation?--am dismissed by some of the men, and if this failed, well, it would just be proof that women should sit down and be quiet and listen.

So, I prayed some more.

After Life Group, Alan and I went to the mall to pick up a classmate who'd volunteered to help (and, the day before, we drove to the university to pick up cookies another classmate had baked). We grabbed lunch in the food court and then returned to chapel to assemble 300 kraft boxes. Around 2 p.m., more people started to show up and we began to start packaging and talking about our plan for the barracks. And there was prayer. Lots of prayer.

The process went quickly with so much help, and by 3:30, we were ready to drive over to the barracks. We divided the boxes into three garbage bags to make everything easier to carry. It was awesome to see a caravan of eight vehicles pull into the barracks parking lot.

We met some really great men and women while we made our rounds in five buildings, and the experience opened my eyes to the fact that more of this is needed. More time. More conversation. More love. More community. More God.

Sunday was one soldier's birthday. A box of cookies was the first birthday present he'd received all day.

Two soldiers were so excited about the cookies that they opened their boxes and started eating while the four (some of us paired off) of us stood in their doorway, chatting.

Countless soldiers were in disbelief that someone was offering free homemade treats, that someone cared. One soldier desperately needed someone to talk to.

One soldier asked if it was finally his turn for a box of cookies, because he'd seen so many other guys with them.

Some of them asked if this was a church outreach. And, from what church? Where? When is service?

However, several knocks went unanswered. On the upside, the chaplain's response to that was to make this a monthly event--the soldiers will know to be home on the last Sunday of the month if they want free baked goods.

And who doesn't want free cookies baked with love?

traffic lessons

Recently, due to construction on post, I spent about ten minutes driving around, trying to avoid the traffic and get back on the main road.

I was about nine minutes into my frustration when I remembered that there are about half a million other gates that I could use to leave post. I was so caught up in just getting around the small, one-block obstacle that I didn't consider any other option.

I just wanted the shortest route, the one that I knew the best. And, by that time, I didn't feel like cutting my losses, so I just waited in traffic.

Once I got through the construction, I started thinking about how life is sometimes like that. I get so hung up on whatever stress I'm dealing with that I don't stop to take a breath and think about other options.

I spend so much time focusing on the issue in front of me that I don't hear God telling me that there's another way. And, even if I do hear Him, I'm reluctant to listen because whatever He's suggesting is not what I usually do.

It's new. It's different. I'm not used to it. I might make mistakes.

I knew that, had I taken one of the other gates off post, I could have found my way home. Eventually. But, I probably would have made some wrong turns, and I was afraid of exploring uncharted territory alone.

But as believers, we are never alone.  

God promises to always be with us.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." -Deuteronomy 31:6

Even when life is rough and we feel overwhelmed, He is there.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." -1 Corinthians 10:13