military lessons on community [part one]

"Community" seems to be a popular topic of late, with L's post on community at All Glorious Within and Annie's post on friendship at What She Saw. Plus, I've really had community on my heart recently--I've been drafting a blog post specifically about the type of friendships I've formed down here, but apparently I'm going to write about that sooner than I planned to.

I think the Christian community could learn a thing or two from the military community (and vice versa), and I'm breaking my thoughts down into two posts.

Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God. -Romans 1:1

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. -1 Peter 2:9

Like Paul (and believers), the military community is set apart. It's different. There are certain things that happen in the military that simply don't happen (or are difficult to understand) in the civilian sector, and vice versa.

If you've ever seen the Lifetime show "Army Wives," you know that the tagline is "The Army has its code. The wives have their own." Likewise, as believers, we have our own "code."

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. -2 Timothy 3:16

The community can be tightly knit--even with frequent moves, you can only receive orders to so many places, so there's a chance that you'll see old friends on the other side of the world a decade from now. Plus, a tightly-knit clan is important when your spouse is deployed or in the field or just can't make it to your doctor appointment. However, I've met women who have lived here longer than I have but lack the strong friendships that I have been blessed with here.

And the sad thing is, it seems to me that the women who haven't found good friends tend to be Christians. They say that everyone has already formed their groups. There isn't room for one more. And it can be unnerving, especially when we fall prey to jealousy, to pettiness, to the enemy, and we close off our hearts to deeper, meaningful relationships. We give off the message that there really isn't room for one more; we're content with our current circle, and you're on your own.

But, that's not the message that Jesus brought.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. -Hebrews 10:24-25

So, what sparks close friendships and builds community so quickly?

share a common bond. If your husband (or wife!) is a soldier, you're used to CQ or staff duty, upcoming deployments, weeks in the field, schedules that aren't really set in stone until they've happened and a week has passed, and a host of other military-specific things. And, if you're not used to it yet? You will be, soon.

Likewise, as believers, we share a common bond. But it seems (to me) that we are way too flippant about that connection--when it comes to friend criteria, being a child of the same God is about as important as sharing the same hair color.

Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? -Malachi 2:10

Meanwhile, with the friendships I've formed in military community, being from the same coast is a fairly legitimate reason to explore friendship. Oh, you're from Virginia? I'm from Pennsylvania. Close enough. Let's be friends.

take advantage of others' experience. Based on my experience, the spouses of soldiers are willing to share their experiences and lend their support and knowledge to help others, and it's a relief to know that you can look to someone else for help.

But as believers, we're cautious--even stingy--with sharing our stories. Especially the ones that might cast us in a less-than-perfect light. We worry too much about what others might think, instead of being concerned with how our stories might be able to touch someone else, or thinking about what our Heavenly Father would think. We are too quick to pass judgment.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:12

And as believers, we're easily hit with jealousy when something good happens to someone else, and we're quick to tear down, instead of build up. Instead of praying for blessing and protection upon our fellow sisters and brothers, we ask "Why not me?" We ignore that common bond of belief in salvation through Jesus Christ.

Plus, when we act in a petty fashion, how can we honestly expect others to see Christ in us? How can we expect others to want to follow Christ?

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. -John 13:35

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. -Colossians 4:5

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. -1 John 4:7-8

Are you making the most of every opportunity?