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military lessons on community [part two]

This is our second post on the topic of community and how the military and Christian communities are similar (or, how they could be). You can check out our first post on community.

deliberately grow friendship. Because you're probably hundreds/thousands of miles away from your family and potentially new to this whole thing (and, even if you aren't, it's nice to have someone else along for the adventure), it's important to have close friends you can count on, whether it's a phone call to make sure you're all right when your spouse is in the field, or picking up your child from school because you don't feel well, or just listening when you're going through a rough time and the enemy is attacking you from all sides.

Building that sort of relationship requires intention and purpose--inviting people to church or dinner or a coffee shop or your house. It means sharing our stories and praying that we can influence our brothers and sisters positively on their journeys. What if you don't think you can/want to set aside time for that?

If you're a blogger, this might mean praying before you post, as Keri Williams wrote recently. Or praying before you comment--what words would really encourage and inspire the blogger whose heart you just read?

Maybe it means sending a text, card, or email, just to let someone know you're thinking of her.

On a secular level, close friends are like second family. On a Godly level, believers are family. Regardless of how close you are.

we have an appreciation of (the lack of) time. Because we know that when you look around the church (or the home life group, or what have you), it's not going to look the same a year (or even a month) from now, I think we understand that you have to cut to the important stuff. Quickly. Ditch the small talk and forget the petty stuff. But as believers, we sometimes act like we'll all be around forever--we can take as much time as we want getting to know people. And God.

I have two super-close friends whom I consider family. I might not be able to tell you their favorite colors or biggest pet peeves, but I can tell you that we would drop (and have) whatever we were doing in order to help each other, whether that means taking care of a dog for a week, picking up a child from school, watching a child overnight, checking in on a house for a week, or accompanying one of us to a doctor appointment. I also think having a common bond factors into this--we understand that our spouses' military commitments sometimes mean that our schedules change at the last minute, and as believers, we trust each other.

How many friends have you known for longer than seven to nine months? Would you be willing to stop what you're doing to help them?

military lessons on community [part one]

"Community" seems to be a popular topic of late, with L's post on community at All Glorious Within and Annie's post on friendship at What She Saw. Plus, I've really had community on my heart recently--I've been drafting a blog post specifically about the type of friendships I've formed down here, but apparently I'm going to write about that sooner than I planned to.

I think the Christian community could learn a thing or two from the military community (and vice versa), and I'm breaking my thoughts down into two posts.

Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God. -Romans 1:1

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. -1 Peter 2:9

Like Paul (and believers), the military community is set apart. It's different. There are certain things that happen in the military that simply don't happen (or are difficult to understand) in the civilian sector, and vice versa.

If you've ever seen the Lifetime show "Army Wives," you know that the tagline is "The Army has its code. The wives have their own." Likewise, as believers, we have our own "code."

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. -2 Timothy 3:16

The community can be tightly knit--even with frequent moves, you can only receive orders to so many places, so there's a chance that you'll see old friends on the other side of the world a decade from now. Plus, a tightly-knit clan is important when your spouse is deployed or in the field or just can't make it to your doctor appointment. However, I've met women who have lived here longer than I have but lack the strong friendships that I have been blessed with here.

And the sad thing is, it seems to me that the women who haven't found good friends tend to be Christians. They say that everyone has already formed their groups. There isn't room for one more. And it can be unnerving, especially when we fall prey to jealousy, to pettiness, to the enemy, and we close off our hearts to deeper, meaningful relationships. We give off the message that there really isn't room for one more; we're content with our current circle, and you're on your own.

But, that's not the message that Jesus brought.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. -Hebrews 10:24-25

So, what sparks close friendships and builds community so quickly?

share a common bond. If your husband (or wife!) is a soldier, you're used to CQ or staff duty, upcoming deployments, weeks in the field, schedules that aren't really set in stone until they've happened and a week has passed, and a host of other military-specific things. And, if you're not used to it yet? You will be, soon.

Likewise, as believers, we share a common bond. But it seems (to me) that we are way too flippant about that connection--when it comes to friend criteria, being a child of the same God is about as important as sharing the same hair color.

Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? -Malachi 2:10

Meanwhile, with the friendships I've formed in military community, being from the same coast is a fairly legitimate reason to explore friendship. Oh, you're from Virginia? I'm from Pennsylvania. Close enough. Let's be friends.

take advantage of others' experience. Based on my experience, the spouses of soldiers are willing to share their experiences and lend their support and knowledge to help others, and it's a relief to know that you can look to someone else for help.

But as believers, we're cautious--even stingy--with sharing our stories. Especially the ones that might cast us in a less-than-perfect light. We worry too much about what others might think, instead of being concerned with how our stories might be able to touch someone else, or thinking about what our Heavenly Father would think. We are too quick to pass judgment.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:12

And as believers, we're easily hit with jealousy when something good happens to someone else, and we're quick to tear down, instead of build up. Instead of praying for blessing and protection upon our fellow sisters and brothers, we ask "Why not me?" We ignore that common bond of belief in salvation through Jesus Christ.

Plus, when we act in a petty fashion, how can we honestly expect others to see Christ in us? How can we expect others to want to follow Christ?

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. -John 13:35

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. -Colossians 4:5

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. -1 John 4:7-8

Are you making the most of every opportunity?

the baking brigade

1,046 cookies, brownies, and muffins, baked by at least 14 people.

300 boxes assembled and filled with baked goods and Chapel Next business cards or handwritten words of encouragement, all prepared by 20-ish people.

5 barracks buildings and almost 300 soldiers uplifted and greeted by 15 people with heartfelt conversation and the love of Christ and community.

1 amazing and blessed first outreach by the Baking Brigade.

Sadly, there is only one photo of Alan because he was our photographer for the event.

I intended to blog about this earlier, but I couldn't find the right words to describe what an amazing, God-filled experience this was. I still don't have all of the words, but if I wait for "perfect," I'll never hit the "Publish" button.

The night before the Baking Brigade outreach, I prayed myself to sleep. I was ridiculously nervous and kept grabbing my phone from the nightstand so I could add quick reminders--don't forget scissors for cutting the twine, and markers for decorating boxes, and print off your notes for Sunday Morning Life Group!

So, while I was casting my cares on the Lord, I was also making sure that I was doing absolutely everything in my power to be prepared. You know--just in case. (read: I was really just paying lip service to God.)

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. -Psalms 55:22

I was afraid that we wouldn't have enough cookies, that even though the list of people who signed up looked decent, people would forget or not bother or not make enough. It was almost 1 a.m. when I toyed with the idea of getting up and making even more cookies (one of my closest friends down here arrived home on Saturday after visiting family on the East Coast, so we went to dinner with them and then they came over so she could bake muffins).

And I was reminded of Jesus feeding the five thousand.

I told myself that if Jesus could do that, then He would make sure that we would have enough to go around. His will would be done. I had to keep myself in check.

Sometimes, we have to live by faith and trust that God will provide. I told God that I was entrusting Him with the entire outreach. That if it succeeded, it was only because He is good and that all the glory went to Him. That if it failed, I knew that this was a me-thing, and not a God-thing. I asked Him to use me as a vessel to minister to others and advance His kingdom.

Coincidentally--or not--I taught about leadership in Life Group the next morning. Leaders have extraordinary faith because they trust that their visions will be fulfilled, as long as people are motivated and God will provide.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:19

And I thought to myself, "Wow, I wish I had that kind of faith!" Instead, I was too busy worrying, and had clearly forgotten the prayer I'd said the previous night. I wanted to end class fifteen minutes early, so I could check on cookies and one of the other ladies could go home to pick up a forgotten Children's Church lesson plan--we barely finished praying by the usual end of class. At that point, I decided to recommit my cares to God.

Would more people drop off cookies? Would we have twine to finish the boxes? Would enough people volunteer to package, to go to the barracks? Was I forgetting something? What if we didn't have enough cookies? What if, in spite of my heart for this mission and my excitement, it failed?

I sometimes get the impression that I--as a woman? as a young woman? as an introvert who hates to be acknowledged in the congregation?--am dismissed by some of the men, and if this failed, well, it would just be proof that women should sit down and be quiet and listen.

So, I prayed some more.

After Life Group, Alan and I went to the mall to pick up a classmate who'd volunteered to help (and, the day before, we drove to the university to pick up cookies another classmate had baked). We grabbed lunch in the food court and then returned to chapel to assemble 300 kraft boxes. Around 2 p.m., more people started to show up and we began to start packaging and talking about our plan for the barracks. And there was prayer. Lots of prayer.

The process went quickly with so much help, and by 3:30, we were ready to drive over to the barracks. We divided the boxes into three garbage bags to make everything easier to carry. It was awesome to see a caravan of eight vehicles pull into the barracks parking lot.

We met some really great men and women while we made our rounds in five buildings, and the experience opened my eyes to the fact that more of this is needed. More time. More conversation. More love. More community. More God.

Sunday was one soldier's birthday. A box of cookies was the first birthday present he'd received all day.

Two soldiers were so excited about the cookies that they opened their boxes and started eating while the four (some of us paired off) of us stood in their doorway, chatting.

Countless soldiers were in disbelief that someone was offering free homemade treats, that someone cared. One soldier desperately needed someone to talk to.

One soldier asked if it was finally his turn for a box of cookies, because he'd seen so many other guys with them.

Some of them asked if this was a church outreach. And, from what church? Where? When is service?

However, several knocks went unanswered. On the upside, the chaplain's response to that was to make this a monthly event--the soldiers will know to be home on the last Sunday of the month if they want free baked goods.

And who doesn't want free cookies baked with love?

traffic lessons

Recently, due to construction on post, I spent about ten minutes driving around, trying to avoid the traffic and get back on the main road.

I was about nine minutes into my frustration when I remembered that there are about half a million other gates that I could use to leave post. I was so caught up in just getting around the small, one-block obstacle that I didn't consider any other option.

I just wanted the shortest route, the one that I knew the best. And, by that time, I didn't feel like cutting my losses, so I just waited in traffic.

Once I got through the construction, I started thinking about how life is sometimes like that. I get so hung up on whatever stress I'm dealing with that I don't stop to take a breath and think about other options.

I spend so much time focusing on the issue in front of me that I don't hear God telling me that there's another way. And, even if I do hear Him, I'm reluctant to listen because whatever He's suggesting is not what I usually do.

It's new. It's different. I'm not used to it. I might make mistakes.

I knew that, had I taken one of the other gates off post, I could have found my way home. Eventually. But, I probably would have made some wrong turns, and I was afraid of exploring uncharted territory alone.

But as believers, we are never alone.  

God promises to always be with us.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." -Deuteronomy 31:6

Even when life is rough and we feel overwhelmed, He is there.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." -1 Corinthians 10:13