month 3 // Today was rough; I think it would have been easier if Alan were home. I was feeling sad and grateful to be blessed by a husband who orders pizza delivery from another continent and a friend who blessed me with a little pampering package.

month 4 // I don't want to say that certain people are "made" for the military lifestyle, as I don't believe that we were created to be separated from our spouses, but I do believe that some people adapt more easily and are more self-sufficient, traits that turn deployments into periods for growth and challenge instead of misery.

//

+ savage. Temperature in the 20s. Waist-deep water. Lots of mud. I ran the Savage Race and loved it. I skipped some of the challenges because I was afraid of hypothermia--Texas' Savage Race was the coldest on record!--but I still enjoyed the obstacles and have officially completed my second race.

+ volunteering. I started volunteering at the Family Life Chaplain Training Center on post. I'm there two days a week and I love it.

+ umhb. Three more semesters until graduation! Thanks to God and a supportive husband, I have maintained a 4.0 (which was a challenge, especially since I had a stomach flu during finals week). Also, I think solution-focused brief therapy is "my" approach. I really like it. One of my professors also loaned some emotion-focused therapy material to me and I've been studying it over break.

+ almost there. I ran 9.06 miles. I could have made it to 10 but I quit because my phone (and therefore, Endomondo) died around 7 miles and I wanted to know exactly how far I ran. Also, after surviving the Savage Race, I did two evening runs in 23F and 27F weather, respectively. It was raining the second time.

+ flyboys. After a friend recommended Flyboys to me, I purchased it and have been reading it off and on for several months. I finally finished it. In my opinion, the book was well-researched; I enjoyed learning about the history of Japan and Japanese-American relations as well as an area of history I had not studied before.

+ bucket list. Some friends and I went to Outback for dinner--it was my first visit, so I can cross off another item on my deployment bucket list! Also, I took a friend out to lunch at Rosa's after PWOC--yes, I was there the Tuesday after I posted about it and have been going semi-regularly ever since. I attended a class on mentorship based on At the Feet of Ordinary Women and asked the ladies to pray about whether any of them would be interested in mentoring me. Recently, one of them approached me and she's going to start mentoring me in the new year! And, I'm currently writing from Pennsylvania. Plus, my wonderful husband scheduled a massage for me last month and it was amazing.

+ snapchat. I downloaded Snapchat. My sister and I have been using it to send each other pictures of our dogs. While we're both in the same room.

this is life [or, a birthday party with lots of kids]

Our friends' daughter recently celebrated her second birthday. At the party, there were nine adults and seven children. Only one of the kids was older than two. As I sat in the living room amid infant car seat carriers and a swing and a Bumbo and wiped spit up off of a dress and filled another sippy cup, I realized that this was not only the first party I'd ever attended with so many children since I was a child, but this will also probably be what every birthday party I attend from here on out will look like. It was a really weird realization, if only because it means that I'm getting older.

one year reflections

You know you're connected to the military community when anything longer than two years seems like a long time to live in the same place.

For several weeks after arriving here, I felt like a guest, like this was Alan's home and I was here temporarily. It took a while for me to acclimate myself to this building, to these four walls, and the fact that this is my home. And sometimes when I'm standing at the threshold and I've just opened the front door, I still catch a whiff of the fresh this-is-my-first-time-walking-in-this-door scent (which reminds me of the this-is-freshman-year scent that the dorm used to have at the beginning and end of every school year). But regardless of the scent that greets me (fortunately, it has yet to be anything unpleasant), I no longer feel like this is just a visit--I feel like I'm home.

When I am in an airport USO around familiar haircuts and young women with baby strollers and no husbands in sight, I know and I am home.

When I am driving around post or reading in my backyard and hear mess call echoing across the way like some martial adhan, I am home.

When someone asks me how long I've been at Ft. Hood and I can no longer say, "Since the end of June," I am home.

When I water the yard and hear the announcement jingle echo from the Jeep dealership, I think of sweltering summer days and trickling rivulets that are impossibly hot and hunting for fossils like Dad and I used to do, and I am home.

When I water the yard, I am home. Because seriously, who waters grass and why are there gaping cracks in my backyard and why can't we have a basement?

When I select my ID card by feel amidst the pile of plastic in my wallet as I'm exiting the highway, I am home.

When I vacuum the carpet for the third time that day because the dogs track dirt inside but I'm happy because this is my house and I want it to be clean, I am home.

When I wait at the window for Alan's truck to pull in the driveway because he texted, "On my way home" a few minutes ago and then race three dogs to the front door because everyone wants his attention, I am home.

ombre nails

While I haven't made time to actually give myself a manicure in the past few months, I decided that painting my nails again might be a good form of self-care. After seeing several nail tutorials online (I really want to try Blog en Beaute's Ocean design), I decided to brave this tutorial on ombre nails. I used Essie's Tart Deco and Madison Ave-hue. The results weren't as neat as I wanted, but since it was my first time trying the technique, I'm pretty happy with the look!

the one in which i'm jealous of myself

I wrote this shortly after my 23rd birthday, which was actually in March. I recently rediscovered it and had to share the awesomeness that is my loving husband.

My husband is super sweet, thoughtful, and romantic.

In case you didn't already know that.

Case in point: my 23rd birthday. We enjoyed dinner together before I went to class, but I was a little disappointed that it was rushed (he had more work to finish and I had to go to class and give a presentation). Still, we were able to be together, and that's what's important!

When I walked out of the building after class, the Jeep was parked in front of the sidewalk. There were rose petals scattered all around, a huge Hello Kitty balloon almost as tall as I am, an absolutely gorgeous vase of flowers, lots of balloons, and the most wonderful man ever.

Granted, it wasn't until I actually saw him that it sunk in that he had done everything. Up until I saw Alan, I just thought it was a weird coincidence that there was a Jeep that looked like mine (because I didn't park in front of the chapel, so it obviously can't be mine), with a huge Hello Kitty (and I was slightly jealous that someone with a Jeep had a huge Hello Kitty and flowers).

My thought process went something like:

That is a huuuge Hello Kitty! That Jeep looks like mine! Those are pretty flowers! Wow, someone is really lucky! Hey! That's my husband! Why is Alan here? What's going on? Ooooh, those are for meee! He moved the Jeep!

 

cultivating peace

As more and more ink fills the pages of my planner, I have begun to appreciate the ideas of mindfulness and cultivating a deliberate presence.  Besides (God willing), it won't be too long before I earn my master's degree and begin helping others through the counseling field, and I want to find ways to decompress now, before I'm overwhelmed and burned out.

Plus, a friend in the counseling program wanted to know what I'm doing to be fully present, so I figured it was time to make a list.

+ exercise.  Depending on Alan's schedule (and mine), I sometimes wake as early as 5:30.  I use the Nike Training Club app to fit in at least one session most mornings (they range from 15 minutes to 45 minutes).  The app includes videos to show you how to do each exercise and it tracks the minutes you've spent working out.  I also schedule little sets (i.e. push-ups, sit ups) throughout the day by using bloom*.

Ab Burner and Butt Buster are my favorite 15-minute workouts--my body was grateful for them when I wore the little white dress for the wedding rehearsal ... even though there are no photos of me in that dress. :(

+ pray.  I use the bloom* app to schedule prayer throughout the day.  There's something about stopping whatever is going on in life to take time with the Creator that refreshes and restores.  And instills a sense of discipline.

If you aren't into praying, try meditating on a proverb or mantra that speaks to you.

+ journal.  In an effort to become more self-aware, I've started journaling more frequently.  I keep my journal at my desk and set aside time to write--usually early in the morning, before the glow of the computer screen has overstimulated my mind.

+ light a candle.  Because His word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  Because I am to let my light shine before men, so that others will praise God.  Because the night is nearly over and I am putting on my armor of light.  Because He turns my darkness to light.  Because His light, His truth guides me.

There is a specific candle that I light when I want to pray, write, or relax.  The scent is warm and cozy, and it illuminates the office when I light it first thing in the morning--the sun is barely up at that time.  I associate lit candles with creativity and space (because I also clear my desk ... as much as possible).

+ or, light a lamp.  We have two salt lamps. The larger of the two is in the office, and it has a USB cable.  I plug it into my computer and enjoy the soft, iridescent light.  It's especially pretty before the sun rises, and I also associate it with peace and calmness.

+ unplug.  This is something that I need to work on.  I try to complete as much work as possible before I turn on my computer, but because I use my phone to exercise, I frequently check email before I even get out of bed, and then my mind starts working on whatever tasks lie ahead.  I also have a tendency to check my phone before I go to bed, which only gives me a headache.

In an effort to save electricity and encourage myself to do only what's necessary, I've started charging my phone only when the battery is at 20% or less, and the power strip in the office (to which the printer and computer are attached) is only plugged in when I really need to print something/my computer battery is at 20% or less.

Knowing that I'm limited by battery power has helped me prioritize my work and clear desk space.

+ enjoy Creation.  What started as an effort to get the dogs outside with less hassle (and therefore get to class earlier) became a time for me to spend outside and play with the dogs.  Spending time outdoors is good for you physically, spiritually, and mentally.  I leave my phone in the house, unless I'm taking photos, which is another activity that has helped me learn to enjoy Creation.

By trying to find beauty in everything, I have come to appreciate the world around me a great deal more.  Sometimes, I regret it when I don't have my camera or my phone with me, but it makes the moment that much more special--because once it's passed, it exists only in my memory.  And God is everywhere.

+ create a ritual.  Ritual creates stability and invites peace and reflection.  Aside from the ritual surrounding my candle, I have a morning tea ritual.

We have a clay teapot used exclusively for oolong.  In the mornings, I heat a kettle of fresh water while I warm the teapot and a cup under running water.  Filling the teapot is a sensory experience, as I take the time to feel and smell the leaves before dropping them into the teapot and filling it with water.  A hot pot of oolong is part of my morning experience.

+ give thanks.  Along with praying and journaling, I like to spend time writing down a few things for which I am grateful each day.  A recent list included:

+ time with my husband this morning
+ my husband made breakfast for me
+ made Wiener melange
+ outpouring of love and support from people interested in the baking outreach
+ a hot shower on a cold morning
+ Lindt chocolate for breakfast
+ no flies--the door is open and the dogs are free to roam the house and backyard
+ becoming "auntie"
+ fellowship and learning--discernment and teaching

+ find your music.  I frequently play music throughout the day--Enya for studying and writing; Moriah Peters for everything else.  Moriah Peters' lyrics (especially "Know Us By Our Love," "Well Done," and "Glow") really speak to my heart and refresh my soul.  The words inspire me.

+ detox your body.  At the end of tiring days, at the end of days when my mind is racing and I can't sleep, at the end of days when I just feel like pampering myself, I (or Alan, because he is an amazing husband) draw a bath with a couple of cups of Epsom salts.  Candles are lit.  The water is hot.  There is a towel at the back of the tub so I don't get cold and my neck doesn't cramp.  Music (or white noise) is playing.  I have a good book (I read "The Soldier's Wife" in one night this way).  And the bath draws out toxins while my body takes in the minerals.  (Make sure you also have a glass of water nearby.)

Frequently, there is also a small papillon perched on a pile of towels, being scratched and rubbed the entire time, but if you don't have a papillon to keep you company, a good book or a journal or your thoughts will do just as well.

+ detox your soul.  His words are the only words that matter.

So read them.

As we go through Community Bible Experience in Home Life Group, I've highlighted and picked out verses that speak to me.  I wrote one of them on a Post-It and stuck it on my desk--"Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

"home," redefined.

Note: I wrote this post on Thursday!

This post is brought to you from Pennsylvania (where we arrived the Wednesday before Christmas, after approximately 25 hours of driving).

Having spent a week at my parents' house (with my parents, sister, the boys for part of the time, my sister's boyfriend on occasion, Nana for a couple of days, Grammy and Cindy off and on, and four dogs), I have come to realize that I really do consider Texas home, now (or at least our home in Texas ... maybe not all of Texas. ...).  On the drive north, I worried that maybe I wouldn't want to leave, and would be absolutely miserable the whole way back to Texas.

But, that isn't the case.

Alan and I have established our own routine, and as much as we love spending time with family, we miss doing things our own way.  We've realized that spending quality time with each other is a top priority in our lives.  Also, I got my mountains-and-trees fix about an hour into the drive in northern PA, and I now feel claustrophobic and ready for the flat lands of Texas.

Now, that's not to say that I won't feel sad when we leave tomorrow morning, because I will miss spending time with my family.  But, we are loving newlywed life with each other in Texas, and we have the support of some great friends there.

It's kind of odd to see how life changes.

happiness = waking up before the sun.

Thanks to Pinterest, I stumbled upon four beauty tips for women who normally don't [care].  While I was reading, I thought about my own self-care routine, and how much it's changed over the past few months.

All through college, getting ready took me ten to fifteen minutes.  That included everything between me turning off my alarm to me leaving my dorm for breakfast (or prepping it in my dorm, if I happened to be eating there).  On the whole, I was very low maintenance, and didn't put much thought into styling my hair or picking cute outfits.

And then there's my self-care routine now.  The two biggest changes that I've noticed revolve around my hair and my clothes.

Hair
I love to curl my hair.  Sometimes I use a heated curling iron, and sometimes I use the no-heat method that Nish Happens mentions (and it's pictured at left!).  The latter is typically more difficult because my hair is extraordinarily heavy and thick, but I love the result and it's less damaging than blasting my hair with a hair dryer and curling iron.

And, I can get away with cleansing my hair only every other day (which is apparently standard for many women, but I had no idea).  About a year ago, I switched from using shampoo and conditioner to using a mixture of water and baking soda for shampoo and water and apple cider vinegar for conditioner.  For me, the results were immediate--my scalp isn't oily at the end of the day, I save time by not washing it daily, and I noticed that my hair has a lot more volume and feels lighter.  Plus, I feel better about the products I'm using (and they're cheaper).

Clothes
My standard college ensemble consisted of jeans and a shirt or layered shirts.  Flats, flip flops, and sneakers were the norm.

Now, I still wear jeans (and I think I will always be a fan of layering shirts), but I put a lot more thought into the shoes I'm going to wear, how I'm going to accessorize (I love learning different ways to tie scarves), and what hairstyle looks best.  Some of my friends here have never seen me in sneakers or wearing a hoodie (but you'd be hard-pressed to find one of my college friends who hasn't).

Reflecting, I wondered why I suddenly don't mind spending half an hour drying my hair, or why I suddenly take pleasure in getting ready for the day.

And I realized, it's because I'm really happy.

I take pride in looking my best, both for myself and for my husband, and I enjoy taking that time in the mornings.  I even wake up (normally) between 5:00 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. to exercise and feed the dogs, and I'm happy about it.  Which is really weird if you consider the fact that I hated waking up at 6:30 in the morning to catch the bus for school, and I even thought that 8 a.m. classes were early when I was in college.  But now?  Push-ups at 5:30 for the fun of it?  Holding a plank while the dogs lick my face/nip my hands because they want to play?  Savoring a cup of tea before the sun rises, so I can dust the house?

Sounds like fun to me!

busy + blessed

I've started so many posts (and finished them and left them sitting in draft form for weeks), but since Alan and I wanted this to be a joint effort, it's sometimes difficult for us to coordinate schedules.  And by that, I mean that I usually write during the day, and then forget to tell him that I wrote something I'd like him to read/add to/edit so we can post it, so nothing ever happens.

The house is looking a bit more homey--Alan hung some of our wedding photos in the entryway and we strung some Instagram photos in the hallway.

We wrapped up "Resilient Warriors" on Friday (we moved our home life group to Friday evenings, since we have a penchant for staying up until the wee hours talking) and will start studying "The Case for Christ" next week--we decided to take a break this week to relax after Thanksgiving--we provide dinner each week, so preparation can be a bit exhausting.  We're (the ladies' class) also preparing to wrap up the fall Sunday Morning Life Group sessions--there are only a couple of chapters left in "Captivating."

Work- and school-wise, we're both doing well, even though our dream job is to be attached at the hip every day and somehow manage to still earn an income.

Unfortunately, we still have yet to figure out that one.

on being grateful

Pretty, romantic images on Tumblr and Pinterest had me yearning for a life full of writing and moody, still lighting and bright, airy lighting and tea.

And then, I realized that I spend most of the day writing; morning light is really moody and still here; afternoon light is really bright and airy; and I drink tea like it's my job.

Also, I sometimes spend evenings daydreaming while lying on my back on a suspended pergola bed, staring at the stars.

Also, I'm eating chocolate-covered pineapple because my caring and supporting husband surprised me with Edible Arrangements today.

My life is awesome.